#53 (gentle)

(masterpiece)

hold her with a gentle hand

not because she is fragile

but because she is a masterpiece.

do not leave your fingerprints on her.

break her,

                 and bleed.

(wolf)

she will not be afraid to devour you

to swallow you in one mouthful if you prove to be shallow

she would rather drown in your depths

than stay dry in your shallows.

(warrior)

she is not afraid to fight for what she loves

and she loves herself

crafted herself under her own fingertips

when she swings

don't think she'll miss just because your lips met hers

if you oppose her

she will end you.

*Evyn

#52 (fear)

yes I am afraid

but fear is not dangerous

emotions cannot hurt you

contain the vortex
                             do not be swept up in the storm

                                                                     
                                                                          of your mind
but hold
and release
and learn
     
                  that fear is not afraid of you

nor should you be afraid of fear.


step onto the stage

bend the knee

raise a flag



                                                          and win.


*Evyn

#51 (happy)

I was sad
for so long
I felt that I was no longer allowed to be happy
but when I realized
sadness was not a due I had to pay
or a sentence I must fill
and happiness was not an elusive dream
when I accepted I could be happy
I realized
I was

*Evyn

#50 (love myself)

if I could learn to love myself
the way that I love you
I'd finally cherish my body
the way that it deserves.
I'd make sure that it was fed
and well kept and clean
and I wouldn't dare to hurt it
because it's special.
and if I could learn to love myself
the way that I love you
I'd learn to let the little things go
or enjoy them and celebrate
because flaws are important
and they matter.
I'd tuck myself in bed at night
and say I did my best
and that was enough for me
because maybe
finally
it is.

*Evyn

#49 (bleed)

Sometimes the only thing you learn from pain
is that you are still alive enough
to bleed.

*Evyn

#48 (amputation)

I wasn't wrong
they had to cut you off for me to let you go
bleeding out
would be easier than this
my room is made for me with you
the entire house has remnants of us
a whole
a singular entity
one mind
one heart
now a half
missing you
missing me.

*Evyn

#47 (roses)

roses do not lie about their thorns
but bloom as vibrant red
as the blood they draw
when you try to stop them.

*Evyn

#46 (vaults)

people
are not vaults
they are not as complicated as we think
they do not have passcodes or combination locks
they are not three feet thick
with armed guards outside
they are not as scary as we pretend
just ask to be let in
and I guarantee
you will

*Evyn

#45 (earthquake)

my legs believe there is an earthquake
they shake under the desk as I try to take notes
and make my handwriting travel back to fourth grade

my hands believe I am on stage
sitting across the table from my date
and make eating with chopsticks an Olympic sport

my mind believes I am crazy
and tells me to walk in front of a car
and that I am alone.

~breathe~

bodies fail.
they misinterpret signals.
the brain is just another organ
and sometimes
it lies.

*Evyn

#44

you messaged me the day before
but didn't say goodbye
so maybe
it was an accident
or a moment's decision
maybe you didn't mean to leave me here
alone
an empty side
and a bed as cold as your coffin
I watched the funeral from the hillside
couldn't bear to get closer.

you prefer(red) cars over flowers
so I brought a little bag of them
and dumped them on the fresh dirt
then knelt and arranged them carefully
by color
like you do...would have...
I'm sorry.

the cards pile up
and the flowers
I've taken them to the hospital where you...
the nurses like them.
I can't look at them without crying
or punching a wall.

your soccer trophy sits on my bookshelf
it's a participation award
you wanted to toss but
I kept
it was the only thing you'd won
because life is not measured in awards
but smiles
and now I'm not sure
I'll ever grow
again.

*Evyn

#43

do not ask what color my eyes are

when you read about me on a page

for they were not my choice

and eyes can lie

ask about the makeup

or lack thereof

that covers or exposes my dark circles

and wonder how I got them

why I cannot sleep

ask about the way I turn my head

when I hear shouting

and close my eyes tightly

when sirens blare 

if you truly want to know me

ask about the way my eyes refuse to fill

when I am sad

and wonder why 

I am empty.

*Evyn

#42 (rubber band)

I wear a rubber band on my wrist
if you know why
if you understand
I'm sorry.

We're only humans.
We break so easily
and pick ourselves up so quickly
ready to succeed
unprepared to fail
to fall
to shatter...

rock bottom became our foundation
and we built cities again and again
watched them fall
and rebuilt with ancient bricks.

our ancestors in ruins
and in beauty

*Evyn

#41

Don't tell me to be quiet
When the world is burning outside my door
Don't tell me to sit down
When there are people sleeping on the floor
Don't tell me to give up the fight
When girls are pushed aside
Don't tell me it is hopeless
When I know
It is not.

*Evyn

#40 (bean water)

Coffee is just bean water
Tea is just leaf water
Food is just mixed foods
Nothing is original or new
Everything is made from other things
We are all atoms
Molecules like one another
Star dust
and stolen ideas
thieves of each other's
hearts

*Evyn

#39 (hypnotized)

hypnotized by his colors
the stains from others before you
decorate his eyes
and entangle you so easily
do not be a fly
in the web of a spider
he will devour you and you
will help.


*Evyn